


Ghosts Wear White

by heavenlydevil



Series: flowers grow in lungs [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14233932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlydevil/pseuds/heavenlydevil
Summary: SPOILERS FOR DRV3 FULL GAMEHis mind had come up with possibility, and he couldn't let it go.How amazing, how brilliant would it be, that when making unsolvable murder, the ultimate liar hadn't died. What if he had merely faked his death and escaped. What if.(Oh my god please let it be so.)





	Ghosts Wear White

1.

(First time, he panicked.)

He died.

It couldn't be.

Shuuichi had seen the blood (oh my god the blood), and the press. He had heard what Kaito had said. Kokichi died, to catch the mastermind, to help them. He sacrificed himself.

He was supposed to be dead. He wasn't supposed to be here, in bright daylight, in the public.

But this figure, even far-away, looked so much like him that he felt nauseous. Black hair, tiny form, white clothes. For so long, Kokichi had haunted him. (The guilt pressing on him like the press on Kokichi.) Shuuichi felt like he was seeing a ghost, and all he knew, he could be. The world seemed blurry and the white shape started to blur around the edges too. He was slipping away again. 

He felt very weak in knees, and leaned his hand against the building next to him. Deep breaths, he told himself, just like he'd been taught. But it felt hard, there was lump in his throat, and he could swear he was choking on it, he couldn't breath, there was no air.... His other hand grasped the air uselessly and then settled on his throat. His chest hurt as well, it feels like it's bursting and suddenly he has images of heart attack, ambulance, hospital. He took, slow, shaky breath, trying not to gasp for air, it wouldn't help, he knew that, even though it felt like it. He wasn't dying, he told himself. He had survived the killing game, he could survive panic attack. And, apparerently, seeing things that werent there. Dead people. Lost people. Ghosts.

Breath in. Breath out. Breath out. He felt his lungs fill with air, and it felt so amazing. He held it in as long as he could, then ever so slowly, let it out from between his lips. And again. And again, until he had managed to get his breathing somewhat even and the lump had settled. It was still there but he could breath again and he ignored it. He opened his eyes. The world was clearer. (Not quite clear, it never was.) He looked around, searching.

He couldn't see Kokichi anymore.

2.

(The second time he saw him, he was calmer.)

Last time, he had tried to search for him, after he had calmed down, he had walked and walked until his feet were sore and he had another lump but he couldn't find a trace of him anymore and he almost had second panic attack. It felt, somehow, like losing him again. He couldn't say he had liked Kokichi (could he?) but... Well. His death, it had still been loss. Loss of innocent (somewhat innocent) life. He had still mourned, like he mourned everyone he knew had been lost. Especially when he had realised that it was possible, even likely, that Kokichi hadnt hated them as much as they had assumed.

When it was likely that he was just scared and lost as them, only, he didn't have anyone. He dealt with it alone. Tried to stop it alone. Died alone. Shuuichi couldn't help but feel at least bit responsible.

He didn't tell anybody about seeing him. How could he? He was seeing his dead antagonist, and he had trouble with reality already. And killing game was.... not fun topic. Most of the time, he avoided that, even with Himiko and Maki. They had already talked about it, dealt with it, moved, (had he?) to best to their ability. This felt like opening old wounds up. He didn't want to do that. He could deal with this alone, the girls were doing well, he couldn't do that to them. 

But still, he couldn't stop thinking about white figure, nor the Kokichi in his head, Kokichi he remembered. He felt like he was almost missing him, his weird presence he had gotten used, his teasing. If he had chance to get anybody back, even Kokichi, well.... he would do anything for that chance. And a chance to fix things, make things right. 

(And. He couldn't deny he had always found him intriguing. He could't. He wasn't a liar.) 

So yes, when he saw him again, he was determined to keep his head clear. It was busy day in public, and he didn't like that, but he swallowed, and started towards the figure. He got closer and closer, there was just a bit more, there were couple people in front of him... Kokichi was playing with his phone, one-handed. He didn't have his old outfit, but just regular plain white shirt and white jeans. (What was it with the white.) There was a lady talking on the phone standing directly in front of him, so Shuuichi could really only see half of him, but... oh, it looked so much like him. He's walking and he's almost there when the lady moves and he sees it.

Missing piece. Big chunk, just a white sleeve flapping in the summer wind. 

He stops. Stares. It's like in slow-motion, like a movie. Kokichi grins at his phone and (one-handed) pockets it and starts to move. 

He watches, still, frozen, as he disappears.

3.

(The third time, he's determined.)

He didn't see him again for a while. He was getting convinced he had imagined it, but part of him he couldn't let it up. Part of him still had hope.

He still didn't tell anybody, not Himiko, not Maki, not his therapist. But he did think about him. He thought about all angles, he tried to convince himself he had imagined him. He made theories in his head, even if that caused anxiety, and sometimes, flashbacks. To the last time he had theorize like that. But. 

His mind had come up with possibility, and he couldn't let it go.

How amazing, how brilliant would it be, that when making unsolvable murder, the ultimate liar hadn't died. What if he had merely faked his death and escaped. What if.

(Oh my god what if.)

Please let it be so.

So now, he was chasing down the empty street, once again and he's closer than ever. He's running, and he hasn't done that in a while, he's not used to it anymore, and it's getting hard to breath, and he feels like he'll never catch him, that he'll keep just running and running and running, all the while figure is just beyond his reach, like a recurring nightmare.

And then. Then he's right behind him. He comes to sudden stop. And that hair, that form... (And the missing arm...) He notes, absently, that even when he's still as short as ever, he has gotten chubbier, more round-ish. But the hair is almost the same, bit shorter but still wispy and all-over the place, and unlike anything that anyone else has. He has white clothes again. And then, Shuuichi's reaching out and grabbing his shoulder, desperately, but so, so afraid. But oh, it feels so real, so warm, like flesh and blood.

He turns. 

Purple eyes meet grey ones.

Shuuichi lets out gasp, a sob. 

Kokichi grins.

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written in a long time, so i hope this was somewhat okay? (oh gosh why is everything i write so short) my gf gave me an idea for this, and i do have more planned, hopefully. not written yet tho, so we'll see how long it takes :"D
> 
> so, about kokichi's arm bc i bet you're like what the actual heck. yeah, he doesn't have it. i will elabrotate (is that how you spell it i have no idea) on it later, on another piece!! ;3 
> 
> now i think i might go to sleeep, bc our neighbour finally turned off his classical after i went to politely ask. (not to yell or to tell him to go fuck himself, bc i do not have kokichi's balls. also i'm trans and i Do Not want to die.) but my gf was in absolutely awe of me so.


End file.
